days of my life

yeah yeah, its been a long long time i blogged.. almost 11 days, and believe me, a lot of time i wanted to sit down and blog, but something or the other crops up.. sigh.. life isnt going well, i wanna complain. more and more.. nothing is going the way i want.. no one is doing what i want.. i am tired all day.. irritated, pissed, like i wanna kill someone.. frustrated coz i cant start studying, into 4th week and havent touched a single tut as yet, so much ieee work, plus sift.. sometimes i wonder where is all this gonna get me.. why cant i just stay in my room and study! why cant i be like everyone else.. why do i have to do everything weird, wear everything weird, think everything weird.. for one, (some) ppl say i have a good dressing sense, haha, i know i dun, i have a weird dressing sense, even though i personally dun like it much, i just wanna do it for the heck of it, coz i like being weird!! is it? reminds me, haha, i am doing a fashion show! lol.. for the international cultural and food fest, which am sure is gonna be flop, i have to wear something rajasthani, but what i have isnt even remotely rajasthani.. black kurta with a heavy collar and a golden brown stol.. anyways, who cares.. tonight is the formal dress rehearsal and thursday is the main event.. am not even excited.. am again doing for the heck of it.. is it ok if we do stuff we dun particularly enjoy but just wanna do it coz ' just like that'? haha...
saturday is the visit by the IEEE branch of universti technologi mayalsia to NTU, they think NTU is some big shot uni and wanna see around the campus and facilities. actually, holding the first international event for ieee ntu, the credit goes to urs truly for initiating the talks.. haha! tyty.. also got the round two of the ieee olympiads on sunday.. cham and bio.. if u in JC or NTU, do come down.. at least for the goodies.. and some refreshments.. its all free..
my roomie is back.. and we both are together into OC these days.. he got my new clothes.. some of them being extraordinarily nice.. just had the three day long weekend and i completely wasted it.. i mean, neither did i study nor i enjoyed myself, apart from friday when i met chen di for lunch and movie at JP, after a long time.. she forgot to get my present! left it on her table.. then we watched the avaitor.. i liked the movie.. apart from the fact that it did get draggy and predictable in between and i almost fell asleep thrice.. but leo decap's performance was a powerhouse one.. so friigin good.. the eccentricities were shown perfectly.. and then conssidering it was a biopic, a real story, we cudnt expect just entertainment.. martin scorsese deserves an oscar this time..
i did mention sometime ago, about giving up on my lovelife situation, well i did.. and only after giving up i told her i liked her.. i dunno if its a step ahead or a setback.. i dun want it to affect anything at all.. and i expect us to continue as before.. but considering i have never confessed my feelings for someone, i consider it a step ahead.. lol.. i guess its just the level of comfort i share with her that let me tell her what i felt.. i feel so much lighter, and i dun have to act or anything in front of her.. i am totally myself.. good right?
alas, am counting days to go back home.. haha.. soon soon.. i miss so much about my life as a student back home.. life was so much more exciting.. there was thrill, there was an uncertainty, which is lacking in singapore.. here monotony is the word.. even the friggin public buses are on time! haha.. where back home even school bus was late everytime.. the only good thing about this place is the freedom i get as an individual.. something i rarely get back home.. esp with my grandparents around.. haha.. but then, home is where the heart is.. its also where u get home made food.. prepared in desi ghee..
if u think my post is really long, dun come next time..;)